The Knights of the Picnic Table

And so it came to pass that legend records that on the 4th day of October, in the year of our Lord 2009, The Cavalier craftsmen met in Torrington's great castle. They came with their wives, betrothed and offspring to give thanks and celebrate in joyous festivity the first 12 months of planning and building work having been successfully completed.

Much merriment and feasting was had before the games began, and whilst children gambolled in the Keep playing see - saw and hide and seek, The Cavaliers honed their archery, swede skittles and conkering skills so that a champion could be crowned And then it happened. Through the haze of the Bar BQ, the Dark Knight appeared with his cortege of followers - all sporting his famous dark blue colours and family motto " Shaun Mitchell - Sero Quod Tipper Hirus Augustus" - which, when translated into olde medieval English is "Shaun Mitchell Plant and Tipper Hire Ltd."

The last of the season's Weare Gifford cider harvest was drunk, along with the nectar of amber from the faraway shore of the Antipodes, as plans for the forthcoming jousting competition were made and the arena prepared. Lord Stacey of Furzebeam was the first to throw down the gauntlet to Sir Hi -Viz of Rosemoor, thinking it to be an easy challenge. By picking up the thin, plastic, surgical gloves (we were fresh out of gauntlets) and striking Lord Stacey across the cheeks (twice) the challenge was accepted and the battle lines drawn. Armoured breast plates, helmets and colours were selected, along with a choice of the two trusty steeds - Beemex and Rayleigh - which were being calmed by the squires Tilbury of Tilbury and Palmer of Kingsmead.The Lord Keely of the Mill and Sir Stuey Layalot shuffled nervously about and laid their wagers on the probable outcome.

Favourite for the first tournament was the well honed, athletic Lord Stacey, with no real chance given to Hi-Viz - but fortune favours the brave and the underdog challenger usurped the favourite and sent him crashing to the ground, winning with two jousts to one. Lord Stacey skulked back to the castle to hide his shame and bruised ribs, firm in the knowledge that knights do bounce! The crowd roared as the next group of knights emerged from the castle gates. Like Gladiators to the Coliseum they came - The Sirs Damien of Witney, Biffo of Beano, Tattersall of Taddiport (deported), Daz of Cornmarket, Lord Simon the Bruise and The Dark Knight himself had drawn lots to compete next. Despite the heroics of all the jousters, The Dark Knight took the honours after many a fierce contest and accepted Princess Loz's colours as prize amid cheers and calls of "count 'em" (following an earlier unfortunate incident with the handlebars).

What a day it was! The atmosphere, enjoyment, camaraderie and laughter lifted the spirits and put us in good stead to tackle the next twelve months hard work until the burn in August 2010.

Other participants in the day's festivities included Squire Giles of Xanadu, Lord Young of Hollister, the Princes Morris and Copp of the Green and Baron Wittram of Gifford. They all played their part in making the event so memorable as did the wives, wenches and offspring, (who needs gamestations and TV when they can play on an old scaffold plank and wooden reel?) and who knows maybe next year we will get to nail the secretary to the castle walls!"

Chris Stacey Chairman Torrington Cavaliers.

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